Just waiting….

Posted: December 9, 2010 in After the Dust Settled, Letters and Documentation, The People Involved, Who Am I?

…I figure most any day now I’m going to get a letter from either Khan’s lawyer, or the hospital’s, telling me I have to take this site down.  I’m sure they don’t like it that I’m putting the truth out there for everyone to see.  But how do you come back from what is otherwise a traumatic event and make sense of it?  Some people I guess just block it out, and I wish i could.  But I had to do something to make sense of it…. I had to do what I could to make sure the next person who dealt with this joke of a hospital didn’t feel as alone as I did when I got out of there.  I’ve heard from entirely too many people who feel that their loved ones were signed into this hospital wrongly, or, who got held there longer than they should have, to at this point give up on sharing the information that I have.

Anyway, I’m gonna’ toss this one out there, in case they find some legal loophole to shut me down….

I don’t know if you can understand how it feels to be held against your will, have your family told that you have a drug problem you don’t have, and be misdiagnosed as bipolar… but trust me, it screws with your head.  I used to lie awake at night after I got out of the hospital, remembering the sheer terror of thinking I could NEVER leave.   Have you ever been somewhere like that, being told you’re suddenly bipolar after 39 years of NOT being bipolar?  You have two major fears… one is that you are, and you’ll always have major problems to deal with.  The other is that you’re not, and no one will believe you.  Neither is particularly fun to deal with.

Being there was… well, it’d be different if I’d tried to hurt myself, or someone else, and been put there against my own wishes, but I WALKED IN on MY OWN TWO FEET. Signed myself in.  So they were saying I was sane enough to sign in, but not sign out?  It was the most illogical situation I’d ever been in.  Ever.  And I had my friends and  family hearing things about me that weren’t true.  Do you know how people look at you when you walk out of a place like that?

I guess maybe if you’re a psychiatrist, it’s no big deal to be “inpatient” for 6 days and confused with another patient.  But, for the rest of us…. it screws up your medical history, it makes you uninsurable and it generally marks you much like one big ass scarlet letter (not sure which letter it is… maybe “P” for “Psycho” or perhaps “N” for nut case?  Or possibly just “D” for “Defective.”)

I’m not suggesting that people who go into hospitals have anything to be ashamed of.  I just know that people look at me a little sideways when I tell them I walked in on my own but couldn’t walk the hell out.  It’s kind of hard to believe.

I don’t think I’d feel bad at all about going in there if I’d gotten a simple clean bill of health along the way.  If they’d have said, “Okay, you’re stable now, it was the Chantix… now you need to go get plenty of rest, etc., and then you’ll be okay.”  Nope… they “stand by” their diagnosis of me as bipolar.  I also don’t think I’d feel bad if I’d gotten an apology.  I’d have signed a confidentiality agreement, and whatever it took, to just simply hear “I’m sorry.”   I’ve served as an expert witness before in contract law cases, so I understand the need for confidentiality and all that.  I’d have played along.

Well I’ve got news for those people who “stand by” their diagnosis.  I have not had ONE “episode” like the one that caused me to ASK to be taken to the emergency room since that date.  Ever.  Never before, never since.   The Chantix did some damage, so did your quackery.  But I’ve seen two VERY reputable doctors who have cleared me of any “bipolar” diagnosis so just kiss my fat ass over that one because YOU WERE WRONG and you KNOW YOU WERE WRONG.  It’s just that your lawyer in Texas (the WORST place to have a malpractice case, ever) told you to deny, deny deny and so far, you’ve gotten away with doing so.

But maybe I’m just slightly more tenacious than you are?

BINGO!   I’m not going away anytime soon.   These are FACTS and I have every right to post them.  These are real events from my medical record and I realize they embarrass you, but you only have yourself to thank because YOU CREATED THEM.

Yes, YOU made this website happen.   I’m sure it doesn’t seem fair that.  But damn if I don’t know THAT feeling, too.

  1. Michael Schwarz says:

    I was here….interesting…..

  2. ubhdenton says:

    Thanks for reading Michael.

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