More about Frightened Wife…

Posted: December 7, 2011 in Stories from Other People

Well, so how do you respond to someone who fears they have done more harm than good?  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that–she meant well, and had no way of knowing.  So, my next step was to help her get him out of there.  I started by saying this:

I told her the following:

Call your family doctor and ask him/her about detox options. Yes, they can hold him for commitment, but the way they work it is they rarely actually go through with it. They WILL SAY he is a danger to himself and others, period. But, they won’t actually spend the money to have the lawyer go through with the commitment. The judge in town who handles these issues knows what they do, so I would tell them to file for commitment and you’ll see ‘em in court, but they better do it fast or you will go see the judge yourself. Don’t let these people bully you. Also, tell the patient advocate you have seen my website, know their game, and you’ll file a lawsuit against them just like I did if they don’t let him go immediately. (Even if you don’t plan on doing that, they don’t need to know that). Tell them I’ve already given you the name of my lawyer. That should sufficiently scare them into letting him go.

I’m curious… is he detoxing from drugs? Because if so, there are medical options for that now that are a piece of cake. They literally put you out and administer some kind of drug and in a few hours you are detoxed. Period. No withdrawal. I know, my pain management doctor there in town told me about it years ago.

Worst case scenario is he’s stuck there 5 days. I guarantee you they’ll release him as soon as the money runs out. Meanwhile, take him some decent food and make sure he has plenty of money for the vending machines so he can get sodas and stuff. Magazines and whatever he likes to do for entertainment in terms of reading are good, because there are virtually none back there unless something has changed. ALso, they have really crappy board games and activities, so there’s NOTHING to do for recreation but sit around and talk about how everyone who drinks is an alcoholic who needs help (which is what they do).  

Here is how she responded:

Thanks so much for your reply! After I sent the email last night I called UBH and talked to a patient care rep and a nurse and they made me feel better and I was hoping that I was just paranoid. I finally feel asleep and woke up when my husband called about 20 minutes ago.


I’m so sad to say you were right. He said, we made a mistake going there. When he said “You gotta get me out of here” It broke my heart and I wanted to start crying but didn’t want to freak him out or make it harder on him. He said he doesn’t know what’s going on because they don’t really tell you anything. He hasn’t seen the psychiatrist yet and doesn’t know when he will. I told him I was just concerned about him detoxing (because of the seizure yesterday morning) He said the rooms are 50 degrees and they won’t let him shave and that’s why the people there all look like some deranged movie.


Sorry I feel like I’m babbling and all over the board. I told him that we can ask for his discharge but and try outpatient care that way he can get out of there and at least sleep at home and get the meds. He said that’s not true and that they can hold him 24 hours and make us go to court. I did tell him that I read the bills of rights last night and that’s not true since he’s not a danger to himself or anyone else. My biggest concern is that he is able to get medication so that he can safely detox without having another seizure. So I was worried about asking him to ask for his discharge yet. I’m not sure if he needed hospitalization – Originally I thought we could do this at home but after the seizure I was so scared that I thought he needed to be monitored by medical professionals. Now that I’ve heard that you can be on meds with outpatient I think I really screwed this one up!

We talked back and forth and my goal was to help her get her husband home, while also reassuring her that he would be okay.  It does something to you to know you cannot leave a place voluntarily.   It also scares the bee-jeezes out of your family on the outside.  But, so far, he had not been denied that right.

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